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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29163750">She Doesn't Love You Like I Do</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonnieisthebaddestbleep/pseuds/bonnieisthebaddestbleep'>bonnieisthebaddestbleep</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, Hurt Buffy Summers, Idiots in Love, My First Work in This Fandom, One Shot, One True Pairing, POV Buffy Summers, darla is mentioned, except Angel is in a bad place, if yall remember season 2 of ats, scene from season 1 inspired this, the royals - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:55:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,483</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29163750</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonnieisthebaddestbleep/pseuds/bonnieisthebaddestbleep</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>She’s bad for him, always has been and always will be.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Angel/Buffy Summers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>She Doesn't Love You Like I Do</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>One shot. Inspiration from a scene from The Royals that I watched the other day.</p>
<p>This is my first fanfic I’ve ever published so I’m a little nervous. I originally posted this story on Fanfiction.net but I decided to tweak it a little and deleted it. Hopefully they aren’t too OOC here, I tried to incorporate my ideas of how they would react based on the show.</p>
<p>Takes place somewhere around late Angel Season 2, whenever he messes with Darla. For this story’s purpose he continued to sleep with Darla after his ‘epiphany’, which isn’t that much of a stretch since he didn’t have the best judgment for a while. </p>
<p>Slightly AU because I changed somethings to fit the story I had in mind. Also, the italics are Buffy’s thoughts/narration.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>************************************************</p>
</div><p>
  <i>She’s bad for him, always has been and always will be.<br/>
</i></p>
<p>
  <i>He knows this, he’s the one who told me about all the terrible things she used to do to him, all the beatings and torture he endured as a young vampire because of her cruelty. That’s how he became the ever-feared Scourge of Europe, killers aren’t born they’re made.<br/>
</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>And he learned a lot from her.<br/>
</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Their relationship was toxic even for vampires. Giles always told me that soulless creatures weren’t supposed to feel anything, no emotion at all right? Well she still always managed to belittle him, make him feel like he was nothing to her.<br/>
</i>
</p>
<p><i>‘She abandoned me Buffy’, he admitted to me bitterly, on one of those rare occasions when he shared his past. ‘She hated that I wasn’t like her, that there wasn’t an aspect of me that she could control anymore. I wasn’t the psychotic demon she had sired, I became weak in her eyes, a liability. So she banished me and never looked back, except to taunt me with my past.’<br/>
He knows how much she wounded him that time, and the times before when they were traipsing around the world with Spike and Drusilla; when she would flirt with the Immortal and fuck more powerful demons than him, making him feel lesser. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>She was never faithful like I was. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Why is he entertaining her? You would think after 200 years he would learn his lesson. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>But something’s wrong with him now, he’s different. More brooding, less sympathy and compassion, he’s become… mean. That’s why I’m here in L.A., to help him find his way back. </i><br/>
</p>
<p>Cordy called me (I know what a shocker) begging me to help her and Wes, telling me all about what happened and how Darla was back and that he had been with her. Biblically.<br/>
</p>
<p>Guess that means that she doesn’t give him perfect happiness huh… but I already knew that.
</p>
<p>“Hey watch where you’re walk- Angel?” </p>
<p>“Buffy what are you doing here?” </p>
<p>
  <i>I guess I hadn’t realized how close to his building I was. He looks angry, which is apparently the usual these days, and I think I’m going to cry. I wasn’t expecting to feel this hurt, it’s been over a year since we broke up.<br/>
</i></p>
<p>
  <i>But it feels like it was just yesterday that we had our first kiss in my room.<br/>
</i>
</p>
<p><i>The only contact we’ve had with each other was the occasional letter about the latest big bad. But those had stopped now.</i>
</p>
<p>“Buffy,” <i>he repeats impatiently. Crap was I just staring at him this whole time?</i></p>
<p>“Oh sorry… can we talk? Somewhere private I mean.”</p>
<p>
  <i>Angel glared, annoyed and gestured for me to go inside. We walked to the elevator in silence, and walked into his room. It looks the same as it did the last time I was here, except for a few more things scattered here and there. Angel plopped on the bed, and I sat on a chair across from him. We just stared at each other for a few minutes until I broke the silence in the most awkward way possible.</i>
</p>
<p>“I heard you’ve become evil again. Well not like Angelus evil but like more than usual. Cordy told me that you fired her and Wesley and that your skanky sire is back,” I stammered. <i>Way to go Buffy, you sound totally sane and not crazy. Ugh.</i></p>
<p>
  <i>Angel looked at me and started laughing.</i>
</p>
<p>“What are you, jealous? I thought we agreed to stay out of each other’s personal lives when you defended College Boy to me. Remember, when all I was trying to do was help and you told me you trust him over me?” He ended bitterly. </p>
<p>
  <i>Oh yeah… I forgot I said that to him. That’s the only time I’ve ever really lied to him, but in my defense I did it to protect myself.  He didn’t need to know that I thought about him every time I was with Riley.</i>
</p>
<p>“Whatever Angel I didn’t come here to rehash the past,” I said quickly, “I came to check up on you… why did you fire your team? How is Darla back?” </p>
<p>
  <i>And why are you screwing her, I wanted to add.</i>
</p>
<p>“I fired my team because they weren’t useful to me anymore. Wesley is a prick and just slows me down. Cordelia doesn’t know when to shut the fuck up.”<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <i> Jesus, that was harsh. Kind of true but… well that’s not the point.</i>
</p>
<p>“And Darla?” I asked softly. <i>Angel just looked past me, no apparent expression on his face. </i></p>
<p>
  <i>Be strong Buffy, ask what you really want to know.</i>
</p>
<p>“Are you… with her?”  <i>Angel continued to stare straight ahead, not meeting my eyes. But he looked almost regretful, and started to fidget with the ends of his shirt. Something he always does when he doesn’t know how to tell me something. Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m about to cry now. But first I’m gonna scream.</i></p>
<p>“Angel what the hell is wrong with you! She’s evil! More than evil, she’s calculating and cruel! You’re the one who told me how dangerous she is to you… so what are you doing? Even if you are semi-soulless, or whatever Cordy said to me, I still don’t buy it! When you had no soul Angel you sought ME out. You tortured ME endlessly. I was like Angelus’s obsession, wasn’t I? And you expect me to believe that if you were even a fraction closer to that state that you wouldn’t choose me?”<i> I began to laugh, edging on the hysterical… was I really trying to own Angelus’ psycho-ness?</i></p>
<p>“Buffy,” he murmured, his tone no longer mocking but full of pity. </p>
<p>
  <i>I would take mockery any day over this.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>His brown eyes reflected that familiar guilty look, and I turned away, ashamed of my outburst. I wanted the floor to swallow me up and take me to the furthest hell dimension. When did I become such a baby? I’m not sixteen anymore, I know there’s no fairytale ending for me and him. I have a boyfriend now, sure he’s not as exciting or dangerous or understanding, but he’s a decent man. Emphasis on the man part, I have a solid shot at a normal (for me) future with him.</i>
</p>
<p>“Buffy you know I never want to hurt you.” </p>
<p>
  <i>During all that pathetic brooding I was doing, Angel had gotten up and kneeled in front of me. I noticed he got a hair-cut, and he was dressed differently too come to think of it. Less black, he was actually wearing a blue shirt... I wonder if this is Cordy’s influence. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>He smells like home and all I want to do is hug him forever.</i>
</p>
<p>“You said you’d see me every day if you could.”</p>
<p>“What?” <i>He looked up at me, confusion marring his beautiful face. God I want him to come back with me. Home stopped feeling like home once he left, he was the only one who truly understood me.</i></p>
<p>“Last year, when I saw you. You said you’d see me everyday if you could. You can.” <i>Oh great, the tears I thought had abandoned me earlier are back. Yay.<br/>
</i></p>
<p>
  <i>Angel looked guilty again and I wanted to slap that expression off of his face. Can’t he see that this is not a Buffy-Angel tragic fate moment? He has the power here to do something about it.</i>
</p>
<p>“No I can’t.” He sighed.</p>
<p>
  <i>Of course he can’t, what else is new?</i>
</p>
<p>“It’s because of her isn’t it…she doesn’t love you like I do.” <i>I choked out, the tears that had been threatening to spill earlier were beginning to pour out, streaming down my face. Angel tried to wipe away my tears, but it was too much, I felt like I was drowning.</i></p>
<p>“She’s my sire,” he said gently, “Ours is a complicated relationship. She’s back now and I need to figure things out. I owe myself that at least.”</p>
<p>“She doesn’t love you like I do.” </p>
<p>
  <i>He was silent.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>I just wanted him to say something, anything, to remind me that he loved me the most, that he would never love anyone more. Especially not her.</i><br/>
</p>
<p>
  <i></i>
</p>
<p>
  <i></i>
</p>
<p><i>But Angel stood up and started walking to the elevator. He paused briefly and muttered that I could stay until I found a bus to take me home, and to close the main door after I leave. I was too stunned to wonder why he was leaving so abruptly, focusing on the fact that he never said he loved me back. For the first time ever.</i><br/>
</p>
<p><i>I watched as the elevator went down, Angel’s back turned so I couldn’t see his face. I felt numb.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>And I swear I could hear the manic laughter of his sire, taunting me as I crumbled into a ball on the floor, wondering why the world hated its champion so much.</i>
</p>
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